Word on the street is that Argentina can proudly boast two claims to fame: 1. Along with it's small neighbor Uruguay it has the highest number of psychiatrists in the world per capita and 2. It has the highest rate of vehicular accidents of a nation of its wealth [citation needed].Nary a tourist can avoid these reminders when they take their initial steps on the streets of Buenos Aires. You'll generally have to pull off most of your walking on a strip of concrete that stretches one to two meters from building to road, or less if there's a street kiosk taking up half of it. Locomoting about doing your daily errands here requires overcoming the panic and entering a state of meditative concentration. The bad news is that time and experience are really the only way to reach this state. The good news is everyone picks it up after long enough.Here's a start. Things to look for, in order of increasing importance:- Cars.
- Cars driving fast.
- Cars driving fast on sidewalks.
- Cars driving fast on sidewalks in reverse. OK so I've never seen the last one. But I wouldn't be surprised to. More seriously, and in order of decreasing importance (just to keep you on your toes, see?)The stuff to look at flat to the horizon:- Buses. Top of the transitory food chain. Objects in your eardrums are closer than they appear. At first you don't hear them coming because the engine is in the back. But when these diesel-powered monstrosities fly by you sparing mere inches... or not, if you're pointing at something across the street, don't do that... you'll begin to respect their distant telltale grumble before it's upon you. As the biggest cats in the jungle they don't heed objects organic or inorganic.
- Motorcycles. These can be tricky because if you're walking on the edge of the sidewalk you can easily be clipped by bikers rounding cars in front of them by pushing in between the road and the sidewalk. Additionally, always look towards the oncoming direction even when crossing between cars stopped at a light. Bikers splitting traffic is the norm.
- Cars. Despite any instinct you've gained elsewhere you do not and never do have right of way regardless what the lights say. Keep an eye.
- Loose electric wires. Not exceedingly common but of medium importance are those endearing black danglies, usually next to a warning notice that's been half-plastered over advertising cosmetic surgery.
- People flying out of establishments/residences. Standard practice is to disregard anything coming perpendicular and gain as much inertia before you leave a building so you can rocket out and give the impression to everyone that you're concerned about punctuality... later you can saunter through the remaining blocks and show up Argentine Time of course. I'm not sure how so many of these lemmings have survived, but they are everywhere. And they'll take you into the road with them if you aren't on your guard passing each door.
- People who don't keep to the right. Sidewalk protocol in most places is to keep to the right, even in places where people drive on the left. Not so here. You walk wherever you jolly well want to and pretend that you're just not paying attention. Don't expect anyone to give way the way you expect to.
- Parasols. If it's raining you've added another fun button to the list. Not only do even more people hug the building walls rather than keep right, they're usually brandishing fully loaded aluminum tipped umbrellas. Be ready to duck without compromising your reconnaissance ability for the above.
- Kamikaze pigeons. OK, give them a break, they're usually dodging the aforementioned dieselmonsters. The stuff to look at below your feet:- Gaps in the sidewalk. Most sidewalks are maintained by the business adjacent to them. This means if you're in front of a building that's been in construction for years you're going to be walking on rubble or worse. Even the poshier places have wobbly tiles or poorly ripped out parking meters, all conspiring to tumble you into an oncoming 86 bus. And those can't slow down much if they hope to get from centro to Ezeiza airport in 45 minutes.
- Refuse from balconies. You can't much see it above you until it's too late, but keeping an eye to what's hitting the ground in the near-distant you may be able to reduce shrapnel impact and/or cross the street before the next volley comes.
- Dogshit. It's everywhere. Almost every block has some. And everybody picks some up along the way. Only it's not the owner with a baggie. All dogshit around here is picked up by shoes.
- Air conditioning condensation. Look for wet spots on the tiles in front of you. If you don't you very well could get hit in the eye, shake your fist at the sky, run into a lamppost and fall into traffic to be run over by a pizza delivery moped. No one wants to be covered in Argentine mozzarella but keep this low on the totem pole - you're going to get wet a lot since you'll be wanting to avoid any of the above foremost. That's all for now, but you'll keep a creative guard. Rural areas have additional threats of bipolar dogs. Urban areas have additional threats of prostitutes and flyer-hander-outers. Keep the spirit and Godspeed!Oh and before anyone is breathing sighs of relief at how happy they are to live in a suburban shady lane, YOU TOO must fear. Por lo menos, Buenos Aires does not suffer from San Francisco's homicidal manhole covers.Buenas!