I realize the title is not very original. It's a phrase often borrowed to express that youthful feeling of energy and freedom that we all (youthful or not) sometimes grasp for a fleeting moment.

But tonight it doesn't apply to me. Today, such a beautiful day to do so, my dad is a soul set free. May nineteenth. The blossoms out in full on the plum trees. The temparature warm. A day to go out and seize for all its opportunity.

And as I thought of it this afternoon, that is what encompasses my father most, the gumption to go achieve whatever he damn well thought he could achieve. Where I pursue other countries, in other ostensibly refined subjects, his pursuits were ponds, flowers, and the happiness of his wife. What more is there to aspire to? It convinces me that what drives me, as important as it is right now, will change. As surely as I do resemble my father, surely will my heart find a home to wrap around. It is the seeking stage for me. My dad's eyes, caught though they were with the mystery ahead of him this morning, by the end were the eyes of one who has sought, found, and reckoned all that need be reckoned.

Two canadian geese stood watching the hurse.

So much has stayed the same here in Altona. So much will. But in this house, all is changed. My mom and I are struck with the realization that the attention and affection given, now has no outlet but to each other. Where this vacuum exists, projects must sprout. Patience everywhere, patience of a depth so deep as to test my own sense of it. It's time mom learned email and online banking and digital photography, all the gizmos that give our era recognizability and technological distraction from larger natural processes. Sarcasm, maybe, yet you and I both love the paradox so, don't we, dad?

An inevitable chapter has begun. It overlays with other traumatic and jubilant chapters. Raspberry jelly on sawdust bread is what this moment tastes like. Spread unevenly.

Too much; I need to take a walk. I'm not used to the online spirit of full disclosure yet. I'd rather talk to the "peepers" by the pond.